This is fun.
Before we get started, let this be comedic relief to a kinda sensitive subject: CLICK HERE
Goodness. This is a topic I’d rather avoid. I’d rather avoid it really.
This topic brews INSECURITY for me. Some mothers joke about it, others offer quick judgement. I am here to tell you, I am by no means giving you solutions or pretending I know it all. Because, clearly I.DO.NOT.
What I am here to do is offer you a hug. I have “that kid.”
I’ve read the books, listened to advice (that I didn’t ask for), changed his diet, routine, you name it. We’ve done time outs. We’ve spanked (gasps). We’ve talked calmly. We’ve yelled.
And at the end of the day… I know my boy dances to the beat of his own drum. He is a fearless leader and certainly stubborn enough to solve world hunger.
The strength God put inside him is magnetic. Leland is not an angry child. My boy isn’t mean (although he has to occasional bite, hit, push… hmm). His struggle is that he is IMPULSIVE.
Doctors tell me he will one day (likely) be diagnosed with ADHD. I laugh and say, “yep, like his daddy.”
But all jokes aside, I do not plan to medicate my boy. I fought tooth and nail to be home with my son and now I realize MORE THAN EVER God put that desire on my heart because he knew the 1:1 guidance Leland would need.
If you are raising a strong-willed child, consider this:
If God gave you a strong child…wouldn’t that, therefore, make you a strong parent?
Because after all, both of you are still alive and breathing and smiling occasionally at each other. That is a success.
Here my heart. God is healing my mom heart. I am confident that my son has an amazing future. He is a great kid.
But I know when I gets sent home from school 2-3 times a month… that is a tough gig. My intent was to offer ZERO advice. But merely offer support.
My goal is to hug. Love. Comfort. Pray. Guide. Redirect. Discipline. Be consistent.
God made me his mother. And by golly, I will rise to the occasion.
A few years ago when I was working outside the home, I never imagined we’d have “that kid” … but now I am thankful he spirited. He is confident. He knows what he wants.
And since we’ve become an entrepreneur family, I get to manage my own work schedule. It’s like a dream. It’s hard work and I have to practice over and over and over and over. I desire DEEPLY to demonstrate what balance looks like. There will never be a perfect day or perfect way to depict that (because it’s different for everyone), BUT I can proudly say that I plug in when I need to be and unplugged when I need to be.
That is freedom to me.
Since I run an online business, I never wanted my son to be angry with me or jealous of devices in my hand. He has my full attention during our time together.
Does that mean EVERY WAKING HOUR I devote all my energy to him? Um. Heck No. That would never empower him to think independently or, quite frankly, not be a brat. Because although in his 3-year old maturity, he’d like the world to revolve around him…it doesn’t.
I also have a 1 year old to wrestle.
But what I’ve learned is…. I’ve dealt with mommy guilt before… I’ve blamed myself… I’ve made excuses… I’ve been angry… I’ve cried… actually, I’ve cried a lot wondering what I can do to help Leland “listen” “behave” “sit still” “be like the other calm kids”
And shame on me for the last complaint.
I never want Leland to blend in. I want him to be bold and make an impact.
(1) Albert Einstein was expelled from several schools and eventually dropped our at at 15.
(2) Eric Clapton (legendary guitarist) was expelled from high school… for playing his guitar too much.
(3) Adele was expelled from school for fighting.
(4) Salma Hayek was kicked out of school because she pulled pranks on the teachers.
(5) Owen Wilson was expelled for cheating on a test.
You get my point.
I want our kids to learn how to make wise decisions so they can be equipped to make the biggest positive impact. And so… for now… cheers to you moms who have a future leader.
It hurts now but they will make us proud.
Here is a quick video I shared recently. I actually do offer advice in this one… it’s an amazing book we’ve started called, “1-2-3 Magic”