I’ve been wobbling for a hot second. Don’t wobble.
And however unsettled I’ve felt, I didn’t know the root cause until recently. Come to think of it, I didn’t really know (or admit) that I was wobbly. Nor do I feel bad about it. I have been in a season of two-degree adjustments for a while, and I enjoy settling slowly into new rhythms.
(Shortened version: If you are the scroll to the bottom reader, go ahead and see where I’ve been wobbly. And while you are there, see if it’s you that needs my apology.)
What do I mean by wobbly?
There is an old Zen proverb that says,
“If you are going to sit, sit and do nothing else. If you are going to walk, walk and do nothing else. But whatever you do, don’t wobble.”
Solomon had a lot to say about this concept as well,
“Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom.” Ecclesiastes 9:10, NLT
Another favorite is a quote from Jim Elliot, an American Christian Missionary,
“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
As a multi-passionate, homeschooling, special needs mom of littles (what a mouthful, wow!), I often have to tame my ambitions to be all-in with one single thing at a time.
Multitasking is less attractive than it used to be. I mean well when brainstorming projects, activities, tasks… but really, deep down, I know every deliverable will be mediocre when I am overcommitting myself.
Perhaps my altar ego is a little old lady, saying (read in a frail, tired whisper), “When I was younger, I’d stay up late, work 3 jobs, finish all my emails, squeeze in time at the gym, then meet my girlfriends for dinner.”
Wash, Rinse, Repeat.
And to that younger description of myself, I salute you.
But as I’ve grown in wisdom and experience, I see life differently. Like Paul, I want to “make the most of every opportunity” (Ephesians 5:16, NIV).
Not in the sense of spreading myself thin to accomplish more than God has assigned me, rather I want to be fully present and invested where my feet have me.
Have you ever been wobbly?
Have you ever committed to something and later found yourself far from the finish line? You agreed to a responsibility, and shouted from the rooftops that you’d remain disciplined and loyal to the cause…only to drift away because you didn’t take into account that life requires margin.
When I do this, I tend to hide. As if my shortcomings aren’t obvious to those who have relied on me. I pretend I have met the deadlines, secured the goal, and have remained on track. And the pretending is exhausting.
I cower, and do not want to admit that I sound like a politician, “Yes, I’ll do that. Yes, we’ll get that done. Of course, I am here for you.” All the while, I am digging a deeper hole and growing more unstable by the minute.
Ladies, don’t wobble. Let’s give ourselves a break. Give each other a break.
Much like the Year of Jubilee described in the Bible, which according to the book of Leviticus is a year-long celebration every 50-ish years, where Hebrew slaves and prisoners would be freed, debts would be forgiven, and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest (random facts I know, but super cool!): You are allowed to have a fresh start.
Shall I say it again? Perhaps from the rooftop this time?
You are allowed to have a fresh start. You do not have to wobble.
A re-do. A second chance. A ground zero.
- You have permission to reevaluate your priorities.
- You have permission to apologize for overpromising and underdelivering.
- You have permission to stop what you’ve started.
- You have permission to pick back up what you put down.
You have permission to walk or sit. You no longer have to wobble.
If God said walk, and you’ve been sitting. Get up!
If God said sit, and you’ve been walking. Sit down!
Girl, don’t wobble. There is never a wrong time to say sorry and straighten up. What is it you’ve been half in and half out with? Are you afraid to cut the cord somewhere?
Are you afraid to go all in somewhere? Ask God what you should be doing because He certainly doesn’t want you to half-way obey.
ALMOST DONE, I promise.
To my fitness business, customers and team, here is my heartfelt, “I’m sorry, I’ve been wobbly.”
If you are a notorious scroll-to-the-bottom reader, you’ve landed on a transformative section. Yes, I am saying I am sorry. Not that you’ve asked. Not that it’s needed. But the silence has been eating me alive. And this admission free’s my soul of the enemy’s guilt and shame he’s plotting as my takeover.
But. No. More.
I am free in Christ. I am free to commit and reevaluate. I am free to blossom. And I am free to pick the pace back up when God gives the bandwidth.
Backstory for curious minds:
I have been a Beachbody Coach for 8 years and love it. Lately, I’ve had several people ask me if I am still a coach and it wrecks me every time because it proves how absent I’ve been from a passion I would love to continue nurturing.
However, God pumped the breaks on my heightened ambitions when He called me to homeschool my boys.
I white knuckled this call for too long and finally surrendered to let God manage my days (even though it looked very different than what I thought I wanted). I had tell myself, “don’t wobble!”
I surrendered not only my “I never in a million years want to homeschool” pride, but also my entire career plan. And I did so silently. I did so without making a fuss, or big scene, or drawing attention.
I lived in fear and decided it would be too great a risk to publicly announce my change of pace. I decided I’d rather slip away backstage and not discuss it (hoping my absence wouldn’t matter).
What I’ve noticed since I’ve gone from full-time Beachbody Coach to part-time, to now having an assistant run the main operations, is that God is and has always been fully in charge.
This platform to help women secure their confidence in their own skin is withstanding my schedule changes… and I see how big God is and how small I am in the grand scheme of things.
I apologize not because I obeyed God, but because I obeyed God and hid the results from you.
How can I share the gospel with you, or anyone, if I do not pull back the curtain of how God has renovated my life?
I apologize because you (those who have joined Moxie in this last decade) put your trust in me to lead you to your business goals and I went radio silent. With that, I know I failed as a leader.
And with that, I hope you relax your shoulders because you may fail someone one day too. Good news though: We can always get back up.
I still lead monthly challenge groups (online fitness groups) and we have a blast in our virtual community! But even so, the enemy has played a sly hand and has been trying to wreck a good thing.
Serving others will look different for everyone.
Don’t let anyone tell you there is ONE WAY to help others.
Closing out this longest blog to date (whoa), take hold of where God is calling you.
If you’ve been wobbly, decide where you are going to sit.
Where I am sitting? Am I still wobbling?
Right here on the couch, choosing to say yes to any of God’s two-degree turns.
** Thanks for reading, or scrolling to read main points, ha. If this has resonated, please share to your social or with friends. Would love to get the word out. **